The Procession to Calvary (2020)

The Procession to Calvary (2020) developed and published by Joe Richardson

A couple of years ago, Joe Richardson released a small, utterly funny and bonkers adventure game Four Last Things, fully composed of old renaissance era paintings, down to the characters. The comedic adventure took a sinner on a journey to find absolution of his sins. Now Richardson has released a sequel of sorts, The Procession of Calvary, done in the exact same style, in both art and humour.

This time around, instead of a sinner looking for a loophole to free him of sin, you take the role of a happy go lucky knight, who has been gleefully killing masses of people in a holy war against Heavenly Peter. The war, led by meek Immortal John has come to an end and the knight is informed that she is to cease her killing ways. No more murdering people, which is somewhat of a bummer for her.

But all hope is not lost, as she manages to find a loophole of her own, as she tasks herself a mission of seeking out Heavenly Peter, who escaped the lands after his loss was becoming imminent. So, with that, the brave knight heads out to the foreign land, through long roads and stormy seas, to find her prey.

The heroine of the tale in her murderous glory

The lands of Heavenly Peter are the kind of a hellhole you'd expect. The zealous ruler has imposed strict rules among his new subjects, having them crucified and tortured for the smallest of offences. So, there she is, in the land of her sworn enemy, trying to figure a way to get to the guarded palace of Peter's.

The first goal is to get over a river between the city and the palace, the second is to get past the Cardinals (?) guarding the door to his holiness. This time though, you have an option to use more brawn than brains if you so want. You can get into one ending that way, it just means you'll skip over a good deal of puzzles by doing so. But as this is a comedy game, I do recommend doing it anyway, as there are some great jokes there. If you want the more puzzle-oriented way. the next step is to gather bribes for the guards. And even then, you can see two different endings, both of which I fully recommend checking out. 

If you've played, and liked, Four Last Things, I'd say it is safe to assume you will like The Procession to Calvary as well. The style of comedy has stayed the same, with a good deal of humour built upon Monty Python style gags about religion, morals and the world itself as well as the people who exist in it. So with that caveat, if you are not a fan of anarchistic ribbing of religion, or are sensitive to religious comedy, then you might have a hard time liking the game.

Admiring the local arts

Like Four Last Things, The Procession to Calvary isn't the longest of adventure games around. If you are a seasoned adventurer, you'll play it through in around 3 hours or so, but in many ways, that's only a good thing, as this way the game doesn't wear out its welcome.

The length of the game also works making the puzzles easier to approach. While there is a certain amount of absurdity in them, the scale of the world works for their benefit. In a bigger game, if you get stuck aren't sure what to do, it can take a lot more time and effort in trying different combinations. But still, despite the game can be absurd, there is a certain internal logic in the puzzles as well, which make them easier to follow.

The Procession to Calvary is at times rude, clever, dumb, dark and insightful. In many ways, just like its predecessor, it reminds me of Monty Python. The comedy of it stems from the writing as well as the visuals. It's filled with gags and jokes, some of which land, some of which don't, but as a whole, I'd say this is one of the few truly genuine comedy games ever made. In a word, it seems to know why it exists and what it wants to deliver.

Meet and befriend the locals

So, with that, if you are interested in giving a small, indie adventure comedy a try, I'd recommend you to pick up The Procession to Calvary, if you aren't squeamish for the type of comedy it has, that is. You can get it from Steam. While you are at it, I'd recommend picking up Four Last Things as well. They are separate games, no need to play one in order to get the other, but as I said, if you like one, it is likely you'll like the other as well.

And they are cheap as well, so there's that.


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